I haven’t posted on here in absolutely ages. I suppose that’s because life has been going well and I haven’t felt the need to let off steam or get things off my chest. That has led me to get out of the habit and so, no posts.
How the world has changed in such a short time! Covid-19 is global and the countries of the world are in various stages of lockdown as each try to deal with it in their own way. I myself have just completed 14 days in isolation at home as I started with a fever two weeks ago, on Mothering Sunday here in the UK. I was so upset, not to be ill, but because it meant I couldn’t go to my mums to leave her card and gift on the doorstep. James was brilliant. He said ‘you can take it in two weeks mummy when we can go out again’. The rules in the UK are 7 days isolation for anyone with symptoms and 14 days for the household. Luckily, James remained symptom free and we finally went out for a walk yesterday. I was jumping about in the street with excitement and it was lovely to see some of our neighbours waving at us through their windows, sharing in our joy. As the UK is only testing people in hospital, I won’t know for sure if I’ve had it, but the symptoms match up and several children and parents from James’s school have had similar illnesses so I’m guessing I caught it there whilst on my weekly visit listening to the children read.
I now have a few days to myself as James has gone to stay with his dad. Tom was very good and did some shopping for us while we were in isolation. This meant he could at least see James through the window when he dropped things off for us. Mr Sexy Suit also brought me some shopping too. My workplace has temporarily closed and I’ve been furloughed. This worked out well as the schools are closed so I managed to get through two weeks of home schooling as best as I could whilst also not being 100%. I’m on my second jigsaw and planning on decorating my living room over the next few days, so plenty to keep me busy.
Luckily, the last time I visited my parents before the national lockdown, I managed to set them up with WhatsApp on their tablet, so we’ve managed to have some video chats as well as daily phone calls. Mum is getting out every day for her daily exercise and Dad is doing well since lockdown. He hasn’t been able to replenish his alcohol supplies and has started eating better so he may well emerge from this in better health than before! I had been worried as my fever started 4 days after I had last seen them, but that is over 2 weeks now and they’re fine so far. I delivered the card and gift, a peace lily, yesterday and picked up a shopping list too. It was great to see them in person, from a distance of course. My work colleagues are also fine which is good news.
James has had video chats with friends and I’ve just attended the Palm Sunday service at church via zoom. That was our second week of services in this format and it’s lovely to see everyone and still be able to worship together albeit in a very different way.
I hope you are all keeping well and managing to find ways to cope through these strange times.
I was right, Mr Sexy Suit had sat down with a coffee and fallen asleep! He hadn’t even got as far as getting changed. He woke just after midnight, saw his phone and my missed calls and messages, sent me three messages of apology, then had restless remainder of the night convinced I was going to break up with him.
He called me the following morning at 7am and asked if he could visit on his way to work. I said he could and he apologised again and said he’d make it up to me. I told him it was a good thing he’d brought my present the night before and that it was just a night in with pizza. I could tell he was mortified by his actions and I didn’t want to let past experiences of being let down by Tom affect my judgment.
I told him as much in a text at lunchtime when I felt more able to express my feelings without getting over emotional. I told him I’d got used to being let down by Tom and I don’t want to get used to being let down by anyone else. I said I wasn’t dumping him yet, and I’d give him another chance.
Things have been going really well with Mr Sexy Suit but his time keeping can be rubbish. Partly because he does so much. He’s always doing things for others, no bad thing, but he crams so much in that something has to give.
Tonight that was me.
He has a high powered job with a fairly long commute. He called last night on his way home with my birthday present so I could have it and use it today if I wanted. He’d got me a Radley handbag, chosen by himself, which I was very impressed with, and he knew I was going out for the day today. He was supposed to be coming round this evening for a pizza and film night. I knew he was working and I’d got James anyway so I was happy with a night in. He messaged me to ask if he should come straight from work or go home first to change. We’re having a heatwave at the moment so I said if he wanted to change into something cooler rather than keep his suit on, that was fine by me. Time was getting on and James was hungry so I put the pizzas in the oven and called him but no answer. I ended up calling him 3 times and messaging that the pizzas were ready but heard nothing. James and I ate our food, watched the film and went to bed. I messaged Mr Sexy Suit saying I assume he’s ok and just sat down and fell asleep when he got home. ( he’s done that before and been late but never completely stood me up)
Not best pleased.
I spent last weekend in London with Mr Sexy Suit. We’d planned it around my next available Saturday off work so I didn’t realise the actual date until it was all booked. Saturday would have been my 16th wedding anniversary! I wondered, when I realised, if Tom would say anything as he knew I was away for the weekend (he had James and the cat staying with him). He didn’t, so I took that as a good sign that we’ve both moved on now.
I thought no more about it until I spoke to my mum on Sunday evening on the telephone. I mentioned it at that point to Mr Sexy Suit as I got a bit emotional. It was strange, I wasn’t bothered about it being my anniversary, more that I’d seen several Facebook posts from married friends reposting one of those statuses about how marriage has to be worked at and it’s easy for some people to throw the towel in. I felt guilty for a moment that I hadn’t worked hard enough at my marriage but then I had an influx of bad memories and just felt overwhelmed that I’m so happy now and just enjoyed a lovely weekend with a man who I have such a connection and chemistry with.
Mr Sexy Suit said he’d listen if I wanted to talk about it, but if I didn’t want to talk then that was fine too.
I can’t remember how I felt on my anniversary last year. Tom and I were going through the divorce and sorting finances so it was a bit difficult. This year though is the first since the divorce went through, so I suppose I was bound to have some sort of reaction to it. Maybe I won’t remember at all next year!
James and I acquired a new addition to our household on Sunday in the form of a kitten. James has been wanting a cat or dog since before we moved in and we recently started the process by getting in contact with our local cat rescue centre.
He’s settling in well and seems an adventurous type, not phased by anything. He thinks nothing of shooting up my legs, which are now covered in scratches, but has also been snoozing and purring on my lap this evening so he must be feeling at home.
James loves him and says he’s going to train him – to do what exactly I’m not sure, though I’m certain he’ll have fun trying and I think the responsibility of a pet to look after will be good for him.
The weekend before last, Mr Sexy Suit came over on Saturday night to watch Eurovision with myself and James and I then asked James on Monday if it would ok for me to invite him to join us for dinner the next Sunday with my brother and his family. He said ‘Yes, I like him, he’s funny. Do you like him mummy?’
I duly cooked a family meal yesterday with James, my brother, sister in law, nephew and Mr Sexy Suit. It was a lovely, relaxed evening and we all got on well together. Mr Sexy Suit finally remembered to get me some more flowers and I now have two vases full. He helped tidy away when my brother had gone whilst I was putting James to bed. It was great having my family round with a partner who was supportive and joined in without feeling any tension at all. A far cry from the complaints I got from Tom whenever I suggested that we have company!
It’s been a difficult couple of weeks. Dad fell at home and broke his other hip so he’s been in hospital almost two weeks now. They didn’t replace this one, just pinned it as they said that would be less invasive. He was very down last week as he was frustrated that he wasn’t recovering as quickly as he had in January when he broke the first hip on holiday and had a hip replacement. I visited him this evening though and he was a lot more chatty and positive. He’s been walking about with the aid of a frame and hopes it won’t be long until he gets home.
I’ve been busy at work too as our manager is off with back trouble so I worked an extra day this week. I could have done without it as I seem to have so much to do. I’m behind with my book-keeping for church as well as my own housekeeping, but I’m going for a day out tomorrow with Mr Sexy Suit and overnight stay at the seaside. I’m looking forward to it but feeling a bit annoyed with him tonight. We were having a text conversation and he commented that we hadn’t ‘been naughty’ for a while. I reminded him that we’d had lunchtime ‘fun’ one day last week and he’d stayed at mine on Friday. He then said it seemed ages since I invited him to call on an evening. I politely reminded him that I’ve been busy due to my dad being in hospital. Maybe I should also remind him that my vase has been empty since my Valentine flowers died off!
I had a lovely weekend away with Mr Sexy Suit at the beginning of April. We went to his apartment in the Algarve. The weather wasn’t great, really windy on the Saturday and rained all day on the Sunday, but we had lots of fun and got on well. I met some of his friends on the Sunday who were staying for a longer period. On our return, we called in to visit my parents. He meets with their approval and my dad later said I could invite him to join us all for dinner on Easter Sunday. I declined as he still hadn’t met James at this point and I thought a big family dinner with my brother and his family too would be a bit much just yet, though he is a lovely guy and I am definitely falling for him.
James and I went to Germany the week before Easter, to visit a school friend of mine who lives there. Although James was looking forward to seeing her son, who is a similar age, he didn’t want to go on a plane. He doesn’t like the acceleration when they take off and he was worried it might crash! He’s into playing spy games at the moment so I had an idea that I could set him some sort of mission to distract him. I made a start and then Mr Sexy Suit took over and created a “Top Secret” document giving James his instructions. It was a lovely thing for him to do for me and did succeed in providing some level of distraction for James. He said on our return that the flights weren’t as bad as he expected but he’s never going on another plane!
On Easter Monday I took James to a local park and met up with my brother and nephew. I invited Mr Sexy Suit to join us and he accepted. I thought meeting James somewhere informal would be good, especially as he had his cousin to play with too, so it didn’t make it a big thing. It was a really nice morning and we all enjoyed ice creams together before going home. My brother later told me that he also approves of Mr Sexy Suit and found him really easy to talk to, unlike Tom, as he said you never knew what mood Tom was going to be in. James, for his part, made no comment whatsoever but he seems to be taking everything in his stride. I haven’t asked him about it, as again, I didn’t want to make it a big thing. Just taking one day at a time and enjoying how it’s going.
I had a fabulous night last Saturday with some girlfriends at a local venue. It was an ABBA night and I danced away from 7.30pm to 11.30pm with just a few short breaks. All the girls commented on how happy I looked and I certainly couldn’t stop smiling and dancing. I was disappointed to miss my weekly night with Mr Sexy Suit, but equally, it was great to have a girls night and it would be wrong to put any man before my friends. He gets me for a whole weekend this coming weekend though, which I’m really looking forward to. We’re going away Friday to Monday so it will be the longest amount of time we’ve spent together by far. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Things are going well with Mr Sexy Suit. On Valentine’s Day he called round in the evening with some flowers for me. A mixture of pink carnations, chrysanthemums and a couple of roses. They were beautiful and just right. He said he’d considered red roses then decided against. He must have been listening on some level when I told him at Christmas that I like all flowers except lilies (don’t like the smell) and red roses (too cliched and a previous boyfriend years ago inundated me with them). The following night I was child free so I went to his and he cooked for me. He made my breakfast the following morning too before I had to leave for work.
After he’d seen my pantomime performance, he went on holiday with some family so we didn’t see much of each other for nearly two weeks, though we kept in touch and had a couple of FaceTime chats. He missed me lots and says he wants me in his life and wants me to feel like the most important girl in the world forever. When he came back, I told him about Rob. Partly, because some of the things he says makes me feel that he’s putting me on too high a pedestal, and partly because I do like him and I feel like I want him to know everything about me. Anyway, I told him that I wasn’t Little Miss Perfect and told him what had happened with Rob. I thought I would get upset, but I didn’t and Mr Sexy Suit was very sweet. He said I might not be perfect but he thinks I’m perfect for him and that he wants to look after me, but that if I ever get bored of him, to let him know and that would be that.
It’s funny, I do still think of Rob and perhaps I always will, but the more time I spend with Mr Sexy Suit, the more time I want to spend with him. I feel I am falling for him but I’m also a bit cautious with my heart. I let myself get carried away in a fantasy with Rob and so I’m scared of letting my feelings run away with me again. I am, however, considering how best to introduce him to James, so that we can be together more. I think neutral ground would be best and maybe as Spring comes around and the weather picks up, he could meet us at the park or something.
He called round this evening on his way home from work, after James had gone to sleep, and it was so lovely to see him. We just watched some tv, chatted and cuddled. I just feel really at ease with him and already looking forward to next time. 😊