I’ve been watching the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and came over quite emotional and contemplative. Happy – for them that they are in love and hoping that their love is longstanding as they start their married life together. Sad – for myself as I remember my own wedding day almost 15 years ago, when I was in love with Tom and said my vows with every intention of keeping them, but that as time went on, my love died and though I tried, I couldn’t stay with him ’til death do us part’. Hopeful – that there is someone out there who truly stirs my passion and is able to treat me in the way I deserve to be treated. Determined – to love myself, be confident in my own abilities and build a happy life for myself and my son regardless of what the future may hold in store romantically.
Wishing Harry and Meghan all the best.
Bumped into an acquaintance today. She’s the partner of one of Tom’s friends but we haven’t seen them for a long time. He’s a ‘full on alcoholic’ in that over the last few years he’s lost his driving license through drinking and his health has suffered. M was telling me today that his liver is damaged and his skin is yellow which is not good at all. I told her that Tom and I have separated and that I’m with my parents for now. She said I’ve done the right thing and that she wishes she could leave P but financially she’s stuck and unfortunately she doesn’t have relatives that she could stay with either. They have 3 children and she’s limited to what hours she can work because she doesn’t feel she can leave the children in his sole care. I felt so bad for her and so lucky that my parents have been there for me and able to help me out.
Alcoholism in whatever form can have such a terrible impact on people’s lives and it seems to be so commonplace.
Had a lovely weekend last weekend in Manchester for my best friends hen party. There were 10 of us and we had a burlesque lesson which was great fun before a meal out and dancing and cabaret at The Birdcage. It was a fab night and all the more enjoyable as my friend has been really ill so it was touch and go as to whether we would have to cancel. Happily, she’s well in the mend now.
In contrast, tonight I’m enjoying my own company as my parents are away and James is in bed. I’m indulging in a glass of wine and watching Eurovision! Not seen much of it for a few years as Tom was never bothered at all.
I’ve viewed a few houses over the last week or so, some nice and some not so nice as you’d expect when house hunting. Although I did like the first one I saw (my new divorce buddy’s house) it wasn’t in the best area. I wanted to be independent and do it myself, but my parents have offered to help me out with some extra deposit money, which has meant I could increase my price band. I got quite emotional about them helping me but they said they have the money available and would rather I use it now when it will be more beneficial to me, than having it when they are no longer around.
So, I’ve seen a lovely house in a better neighbourhood. It’s nice inside as well so I don’t really have to do anything other than furnish it. There is a park just behind which will be great for James and it’s close enough to Tom to make it easy for access but without being too near! I put an offer in which was rejected but they met me halfway so provided there are no hiccups, it shouldn’t be too long until James and I move out of my parents and into our new home!
Things are moving along now that Tom and I are in agreement over finances. I saw a mortgage advisor yesterday who was really helpful, (also quite cute which was a bonus!) and he called me back within half an hour of our meeting to tell me I could potentially borrow a fair bit more than I had previously anticipated. This is great news as it means I can have more flexibility. I’m not going to stretch myself too far, but I’m pleased I have the option to go for a little bit more should I need to.
I duly booked a viewing for a house yesterday afternoon and my Dad accompanied me. The vendor was a lady who I vaguely recognised and it turned out that she had been a customer at my place of work earlier in the year. She asked if I had a house to sell, so I told her that I was separating from my husband and currently living with my parents. She is in the same position! Almost exactly. She is a couple of weeks ahead of me with regards to divorce proceedings but is divorcing her husband on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour due to his alcoholism and resulting behaviour! I did like the house, but it is only the first I’ve looked at, so don’t want to rush into making an offer before seeing some other places too. Regardless of what happens, I think we could potentially be divorce buddies.
Isn’t it funny how people come into our lives at certain times when we need reassurance or support, whether in reality or virtually through blogging? Coincidence or a greater power at work?
My Dad has eased up a little on his drinking and has also visited the doctor. Mum kept telling him that she was going to make an appointment for him and go with him but he sorted it himself. He told the doctor about his lack of appetite and that his feet have been too painful for him to walk. He’s suffered from arthritis for a long time and has probably been drinking to numb the pain.
Anyway, she gave him some different painkillers and said he could reduce his blood pressure tablets. Apparently they can cause a reduced appetite when taken long term.
Whether it’s his reduced alcohol consumption over the last few days, his change in medication or a bit of both, he’s eaten more and been more mobile which is great. He’s been more positive in his outlook so I’m hoping he keeps it up.
Mum and I are encouraging him and telling him how much better he has been so fingers crossed.
So, Rob came back again and explained that all his iMessages had been stored on his computer including every chat, naughty pic and video we have exchanged!! He must have all his gadgets linked up and though he’s always deleted everything off his phone or iPad, he didn’t realise his messages had also been saved on his computer until he investigated why it was running slower than it used to!
Anyway we chatted a bit and he asked if I’d had any new lingerie lately. Now, he’s asked my size before and said he’ll treat me but he never has, so I just assumed that it was hot air again. Imagine my surprise when a package arrived at work for me today!! I couldn’t believe he’d actually done it and couldn’t wait to get home and try it on. Its a beautiful petrol blue bra with black lace trim and matching knickers. Very classy and I love them.
I know it will only be a matter of time before he goes quiet one me again. That’s what he does. But I do believe that he is genuine about his feelings for me. Can I be happy being ‘the other woman’ while he works out what he really wants long term? I don’t know. Am I happy right now? Yes I am. Do I want more ? I want to meet him. Will that ever happen? Again, I don’t know.