Telling the ex

I thought I’d better tell Tom that I’m dating Mr Sexy Suit, especially as it’s a small town and lots of people know Tom. I didn’t want to be seen out and about and word get back to him before telling him myself. I bit the bullet last Saturday when he dropped James off and asked if I’d done anything Friday night. Told him I’d been on a date and unsurprisingly, he asked who with. He seemed a bit surprised but took it well. On Sunday he asked if I could collect some more of my stuff that he’d packed up. He said it wasn’t a knee jerk reaction, just that he wanted to do some cleaning. On New Years Eve he asked if he could pop round in the afternoon. When he arrived, it was because he’d wanted to ask more about Mr Sexy Suit. He said he was a bit miffed that one of his friends had asked me out, but that he was also pleased that it wasn’t a stranger. ( funnily enough, I don’t think I would have told him yet if it was a stranger) Anyway, I reiterated that I wanted him to know from me and that it was early days. He then admitted that he hadn’t exactly been a monk himself and that he had dated someone briefly. He wouldn’t say when, but I’m guessing it’s a few months ago as he had a vasectomy at the end of October and I did wonder the reason at the time.

His reaction had been better than I expected to be honest, but I wonder, now he’s had time to think about it, if he’s going to be awkward. He’s been a bit off hand during our phone calls this week. Thursday, he called asking about arrangements for James’s upcoming birthday party and asked ‘will he be there?’. It took me awhile to realise who he meant and told him no, he wouldn’t be there. Yesterday dropping James off at Tom’s on my way to work, he was again a bit off and said sarcastically, ‘have a nice time tonight’. He’ll just have to suck it up and get used to it. At the end of the day, if he’d treated me better then he wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m sure I’ve done the right thing in telling him I’m dating. He’s not found out from rumours so I’m not going to worry.

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Oh! Oh! Oh!

Mr Sexy Suit is indeed sooo sexy. James went to his dad’s for Christmas Eve night with me due to collect him on Christmas morning. Mr Sexy Suit had earlier asked what my plans were over the festive season. I told him I was thinking of going to Midnight Mass on Xmas eve instead of attending church on Xmas morning. He said he’d be happy to accompany me. He came to my house around 8pm with some more flowers and my Xmas present. I knew it was perfume as he’d asked what sort I wore, but it was lovely of him all the same.

We got passionate and it was amazing. My body just responds to his touch and with his fingers inside me I had the bigggest orgasm I’ve ever had. I gushed. That has never happened before. Well, it happened 3 times on Xmas eve!! His voice, his touch, the way he looks at me, just makes me tingle. It seems that I’ve been missing out on a lot!

On Friday we went out for our dinner date. He took me to a lovely Italian restaurant and the food was delicious. I then stayed over at his again and had a great night.

He had invited me to a party he was hosting on Boxing Day with his family – dad, sisters, partners and nieces – but I declined as I had James with me. He thought James would get on well with his nieces but I think it’s too early for me to be introducing him to James.

We message every day, sometimes lots and sometimes just a bit. I’m not used to being the centre of someone’s attention, and good attention at that, and I keep telling myself there must be a catch somewhere. That thought, as well as having my son to consider,  is helping me to keep at least one foot on the ground.

One thing is for certain. This is the best Christmas I’ve had in a very long time.

An evening for me

Mr Sexy Suit offered to cook me dinner for our second date. He messaged me an official invitation and when I arrived he was wearing his dinner jacket. He looked very handsome to say the least. The food was delicious and it was lovely to be waited upon and kissed between courses. I stayed over and we got very passionate. We seem to have a good chemistry between us. He’s attentive and my whole body responds to his touch, and his to mine, or at least it did three times and then again in the morning!

Yesterday I was looking over old notes I’d made on my phone and I found this one. Something I’d written over 12 months ago.

What do I need/want in a man?

Someone who can wine and dine me but also comfortable with country walks and cosy nights in

Good dress sense

Makes me laugh

Happy to take me on days out

Sociable and gets on with my friends and family 

Someone who stirs my passion

Pays me attention and treats me well, shows me how they feel about me

Not an alcoholic 

Not using their phone when we’re having dinner

Not ridiculously moody

Not selfish

Doesn’t take me for granted

Obviously, it’s early days but Mr Sexy Suit has started off well. I did say to him as he was making me breakfast, that he is setting himself standards that I am expecting him to maintain. He said that wouldn’t be a problem. I could certainly get used to being treated this way.

Oh, I almost forgot! My Decree Absolute arrived in the post, so I am legally single again.

Bad dream

After falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow last night (I’m not used to staying up past midnight!) I had a very disrupted night. First of all, I was woken around 3am by my smoke alarm making that annoying intermittent beep that signals the battery needs changing. Why does it always happen in the middle of the night and not when you’ve just got home from work or just before you go to bed? Secondly, I had a nightmare.

I haven’t had a such a bad dream in a very long time. Basically it started as me seeing a strange green grid on my ceiling and then some sort of alien abduction. It was awful; I was trapped and couldn’t get away. When I woke up I reached for my bedside clock to see what time it was but it wouldn’t work. I then reached for my mobile which also wouldn’t work but was attached to another device. I got really scared at this point thinking there was someone in my house. I searched frantically for my light switch then realised my room wasn’t quite right, I was searching in the wrong place for the light switch and I then realised I was still dreaming. Then I was back in my bed with strange nurse like creatures trying to poke at my face. I shouted for Mr Sexy Suit to help me. Then I woke up properly, to much relief.

What do you make of that?

I’m no dream interpreter but I wonder if it was my subconscious testing me in some way. Bringing my doubts about being swept off my feet to the surface, but then at the end reassuring me that I’m in safe hands. I really don’t know.

I hope I don’t have another like that any time soon though. It was bloody scary!

 

First date

So, I’m going to call him Mr Sexy Suit seeing as he wears a suit for his job and looks rather good in it too. He did want to take me for dinner, still does, but he’d also asked me earlier if I knew of any carol services locally and I told him there was a Christmas concert at my local church that I’d considered going to and he was welcome to join me. He said he’d love to. I also thought that was less formal than dinner, so if I didn’t feel a spark then there was no harm done.

In the meantime, he’s messaged me lots and lots. Sometimes a little too much, and I’ve felt a bit over whelmed although we do seem to share the same sense of humour and he’s had me in stitches. On Wednesday night he called me and we chatted for over an hour and a half. He’s got a very sexy voice and I could easily have chatted all night. He said he tends to talk a lot when he’s nervous. I tend to talk less but giggle lots. He said he loves the sound of my laugh and that was what he couldn’t stop thinking about after he’d called in to my place of work the other week.

He has no vices, said he rarely drinks, doesn’t smoke, do drugs or gamble. I said he did take a chance asking me out though. He agreed that was a big gamble and when I didn’t reply that same night, he was worried I was going to decline.

Last night was concert night but I was suffering from a bit of a cold, it was freezing outside and he was a little bit late arriving as he’d got stuck in traffic. He brought me some flowers – pink roses – then realised I don’t have a vase so said he’ll buy me one. We stayed in, drinking tea and chatting as well as a fair amount of kissing! He has lovely eyes that crinkle when he smiles and I do fancy him. I could easily have chatted all night but forced myself to kick him out at midnight.

I think I could really like him. I’ve told him I’m a take it slow kind of girl, but I’m getting all these butterflies and feel like my head is spinning. I hope I’m not just transferring what I felt for Rob onto the first available guy that’s come my way. He’s hardly crossed my mind incidentally since Mr Sexy Suit came along. He’s admitted that he talks too much and just says what he’s thinking and that I just have to tell him if he’s going too far and keep him in check. I’ve told him I’m not looking for a new husband and that I can’t promise him anything, but that I’m willing to go with the flow and see where it takes us. He says he wants to date me, treat me and spoil me.

Maybe it will all be a flash in the pan. I really don’t know. I’m just going to take it one day at a time and if he wants to treat me like a princess, then I’m going to enjoy it.

Admirer

It seems I have an admirer. I thought there was a possibility at the weekend but wasn’t sure if I was reading too much into it, but now I’m fairly certain. It is a long time since I was in the dating game after all. However, there is potential problem in that he is a friend of Tom.

Not a close friend, he wasn’t a guest at our wedding for example; more of an intermittent friend. I’ve only met him a handful of times, most recently around 18 months ago when he and his girlfriend at the time joined Tom and myself on a night out. I was grateful they had joined us, as things were strained and I spent most of that night on the dance floor with his girlfriend.

Anyway, last Saturday he called in to my place of work (opticians) to book an appointment. He told me he had just moved into the town and mentioned asking his sister to help him choose some new spectacles. I didn’t ask any questions, but assumed from what he was saying that he is no longer with the girlfriend I’d met before. He messaged me on Sunday asking if I could recommend a cleaner and gardener for him. (He had my number from a couple of years back when he was arranging to return something he’d borrowed from Tom) I told him he should do it himself like me, but I did contact my Mummy friends for recommendations and got back to him with a potential cleaner. He thanked me and said I was welcome to call in for coffee anytime and that it would be nice to have some good company. That was when I told myself I’m putting two and two together and making 10.

This evening he messaged again saying he would like to take me out for dinner sometime as a thank you! I’ve been out so not replied as yet. Thought I would ask my friend’s advice at work tomorrow as well as my lovely followers on here. I’m inclined to accept, it is just dinner after all, as I feel that dinner with someone I know a little is maybe a good start for getting back in the dating game. Or is it too messy? What is the etiquette about a guy wanting to take his friend’s ex out for dinner? Should he ask his approval first? Should I just accept and take it as a chance for us to get to know each other better and not worry about it yet. After all, I might find him boring after an evening in his company and that would be that.

Oh the dilemma!

Ready for Christmas

James and I put our Christmas trees up last night. I got custody of both trees so I let James decorate the smaller one in the conservatory and I put the big one up in the living room. After years of living with The Grinch, grumbling about Christmas decorations of any sort, I’m enjoying an early start this year.

My brother and his family came today for dinner which was lovely and James had lots of fun playing with his cousin.

I’m now chilling out eating Christmas tree shaped pretzels and enjoying a glass of wine.

Great start to the Christmas season.