Feeling a bit flat

I still think about Rob, a lot.
This time last year I felt on such a high, though I knew deep down that it wouldn’t last and I could only crash down. I’m feeling more emotionally stable now, if not happy, at least I’m no longer on the roller coaster that I’ve been on for the last few months. The frustration in me gradually building up the longer it went since his last text before the euphoria of hearing from him. I still feel tension building up in me during each day, even though I know I’m not going to hear from him again. (and yes, I am strong enough not to contact him. If my thoughts do stray in that direction, I remind myself why I ended it) I think it’s the frustration of my situation and the what ifs that keep running wild in my head. I don’t regret it. The highs, especially this time last year, were amazing. I know it was mainly the fantasy of my imagination combined with his flattering comments and (empty) promises that drove me wild, but I don’t think I would have done anything differently. I just wish that I could keep my thoughts in check now. If only closing a chapter of life’s journey in your mind was as easy as turning the page in a book.

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One thought on “Feeling a bit flat

  1. Eish we all wish that… That moving forward would be as easy as ending a chapter in a book. All the strength. It does get easier. Eventually the feelings of frustration and what ifs fade and become insignificant despite being there. And every now and then it might return but some days you won’t even notice it. Hug

    Liked by 1 person

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