Batteries recharged

Had a lovely holiday with my friend and our two boys got on well, mostly!
I came back feeling a lot more relaxed. Tom told me he’s missed me a lot though I can’t say I feel the same. He has kept the house tidy and done some washing and ironing so his “new man” routine is still going strong. I can’t help thinking it’s too late. I did feel a bit more positive that maybe I could regain some feelings for him as I noticed what nice eyes he has. However, last night he wanted to cuddle and I just felt claustrophobic. I’ve put a wall up between us and I don’t know if it can be broken down.

Meanwhile, Rob texted me a lot while I was away. My friend had posted on Facebook when we were at the airport on the way out, which I think he’d seen as he asked me where I was and who with. Yet again he mentioned that we should arrange to meet, which will probably mean he goes quiet now for awhile. Maybe I’m wrong and just being a fool, but I do think he is genuine about his feelings and is as addicted to me as I am to him. At the very least, I believe we are getting something from each other that we are otherwise missing; be that just a mutual ego boost or a genuine passion. I know we’re never going to run off together and live “happily ever after” but at the moment, having him in my life is better than not.


3 thoughts on “Batteries recharged

  1. I’m glad you had a good time. I know exactly how you feel as I’ve been there. When my husband went away for two weeks, I felt so free and relieved. Nothing he did could change things for me once I realised I felt better without him. Find your path and don’t look back.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So glad you had a lovely break😊. It seems the one thing your holiday has given you is clarity on your marriage.

    Whilst distance can make the heart grow fonder, for some it can be a release, a chance to be yourself without fear of judgement, I get that, you shouldn’t feel guilty😊

    I understand how Rob has become a big part of your life but try and focus on the bigger picture. Is it really healthy to keep living in this fantasy world!

    Emotional affairs are so easy to get drawn into. Like you say the addiction, the sense of finding the missing something is so real, you soon find yourself believing it’s all you want, but you have to remember it’s a short term solution to finding happiness.

    If the connection between you and Rob is mutual and you really can’t be without each other, then walk away from your marriage.

    I don’t think I need to tell you, whilst Rob is in your life, your marriage won’t stand a chance.

    Please don’t think I’m judging you, I’m also in the same position. Whilst I feel no love for my husband I’ve cut off all contact with my affair partner in the hope we can salvage something, but it’s looking very unlikely.

    If you don’t let go of Rob, you’ll never know if you can rebuild your marriage.

    If he’s keen to meet, then push him, you’ll soon know if he’s sincere, judge your next move by his actions.

    I’m not saying everything between you was based on lies, in fact the complete opposite. As humans we look for mutual love and understanding and when we find it we hold onto it, doesn’t make it wrong!

    You obviously need Rob more than he needs you. I’m not doubting his sincerity but don’t get sucked in again.

    I miss my affair partner so much, it hurts to know all those years were wasted. In saying that the key to moving on is recognising the pain you’re putting yourself through😢

    Remember the good days for what they were, a lovely fantasy, an escape from reality but be strong, and don’t give in again😘


    1. I hear what you’re saying. I think in my heart I’ve already decided that my marriage is over.
      As for Rob, I know it’s not healthy living in a fantasy world but just now I’m not strong enough to stop. I think you’re right that I should push him to meet. After all, he’s the one who brings it up.


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