Third counselling

Tom joined me for our session this time. I actually felt more positive afterwards even though during the session he said that he hasn’t felt affection from me in a long time. He said he doesn’t think I like sex and that I’ve never seemed interested in trying anything new. I said I didn’t feel very self confident and remembered a time where I’d tried to do a sexy dance with a feather boa but he’d laughed at me. I acknowledged that Tom is trying to improve things but that when he’s wanting to cuddle me all the time I’ve felt claustrophobic and that this week I’ve felt better as he’s stayed out of my way a bit more, though we did spend some family time together at the weekend which was nice. I also said that I feel wary every time he asks how I am, as I feel he’s waiting for me to say “I love you again so everything is just fine”. He admitted that he is hoping to hear that. I admitted that in the past I’ve been prone to saying everything was fine when really it wasn’t. The lady said that at our next session she could suggest some techniques that may improve our relationship with each other. We both said we were willing to try. She also said these things take time and don’t always work for everyone.

On the way home, Tom related a tale a work colleague had told him about someone who had divorced his wife. Apparently she said “men are like floor tiles, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them”. This upset me as I took it as a criticism and that Tom was saying that if I’d laid him better then he would have been a better husband. I told him this and he was mortified as he had meant to say that he would do anything for me! I suppose that is an improvement as I told him why the tale had upset me!

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